How many times have we heard the magic sounds of the wanna’ be player talk about the race? – Long ago, I was told by a seasoned horse player that opinions at the track are backed up with money. There is always a few that seem to know everything about every runner and why we should have bet them. – With this in mind, I have compiled a few cheeseball moves that really get my goat at the races.

When we go to the track, rooting and cheering is an important part of the exciting action. The screams for a rider’s name and what they should do never bothered me. Hell, I’ve even found myself hollering for a rider to switch leads and go to the whip. – Now, I’ve never switched leads going 40 mph, but since I have a $2 investment that gives me full right to root them home. – No problems with the bettors who love to cheer til’ they’re hoarse. Players are the best part of the game. – But there are a few items that really get me good. They have no bearing on my horse or his trip, but rather it’s a cheese-grater being put to use on the back of my skull. – This is a picture of “Eddie Mush” from the movie Bronx Tale. – If you’re not familiar with the gambler, give the movie a watch and you’ll swear you’ve seen him at every track you’ve visited.

1. – The Finger snapper = I’m not sure how they get their fingers to make the wild snapping noise, but it surely can unnerve you pretty quick. – I’ve never been a fan of the “snap” and is it their way of going to the whip or communicating with the rider telling them to use the crop? – Either way, I hate the sound of snapping fingers held above their heads smooching to the horse as if they could hear this horrible sound.

2. – Program whip master = Now if you’re new to the track making your first trip or two, go ahead and get excited. But if you’ve been a long time player you must not use your rolled up program whipping your side. – I saw a couple of young players using their phone to capture this old man going to the rolled up whip. – After the race, they laughed until they cried watching the old man really give his ass a beating getting his horse to run. I’m pretty sure it’s on YouTube.

3. – Dumpster Diver = If you’re a kid hanging out with your old man I guess we’ll forgive you for looking for a program in the dumpster. – If you’re an everyday player please stay out of the trash can looking to save $2 for a program. – I saw a gent pull out a program covered in coffee and all sorts of nasty as he wiped off the paper. But, he did save a deuce so he could make a bet. – Please, please, please, stay out of the dumpster.

4. – The switch screamer = Oh this is one of my favorites. – As the horses make the turn for home you’ll hear this shrill voice screaming at the back of the race book. – “C’mon, Jose! – Turn him loose, Jose. Switch leads, Jose!” – Just about that time, Jose’s mount starts to fade you’ll hear the same voice start screaming ” Go on Johnny! – Go past, Johnny. You gottem’ now Johnny!” – They have the winner at every single track for every race that is carded. It is truly amazing, and just to think he started the day by doing a little dumpster diving for a program and has every winner on the card. If you don’t believe me just ask him.

5. – The shoulder watcher = You’re in line at the self-bet or with a clerk making a good wager. – You have this odd feeling of being watched, and low and behold you have someone peeking over your shoulder or around your side. – They want to know what you are doing. It’s not that they’re going to bet your horse’s odds down, they’re just nosey. – There used to be a crew that hung out at the $100 minimum window, and in a matter of seconds, the entire track knew what player X bet.

Whether you’re at the track, OTB, or just betting from home with friends. Show a little racing etiquette. – It’s ok to get a little excited and rooting your runner is encouraged. I’ve never seen a gambler standing at a slot machine rooting them on to win. – Another gambling rule is don’t brag too much when you win or bitch too much when you lose. Either behavior sticks in the crawl of fellow gamblers. – Best of luck and may all of your photos be winners!