Caught Red-Handed

by Ed Meyer

posted on January 11, 2015 in Blogroll, General Discussion, Handicapping, Horse Racing, | No Comments >>


Dad has the greatest line in the world that sums up my stupidity. “You’re too old to be that damn dumb.” Well, too soon we grow old and too late we grow wise. The big argument was there was no reason to tell the fib. Why didn’t I just tell the truth? I guess my old man in his infinite wisdom is right once again. I’m too old to be acting like that foolish kid. It didn’t work then, and it sure hasn’t changed much.

My girlfriend asked me to go out for a lovely day with some of her family. We were going to have a nice lunch and few glasses of wine. Then after some light conversation with the royal family, we would venture off to catch a holiday theatrical presentation. I guess for some this sounds like a wonderful day, but for this dummy it felt like being tied to the train tracks. Normally I’m game for a day out, but not when there is football and horse racing all wrapped into one big present. I agreed to go and she started making plans for our wonderful day. As the plans started unfolding, I remembered the games, the races, and the $300 I had hidden in my drawer. She was suppose to be out of town and I was going to run wild. Well, that was before I lost my mind, and agreed to go to jail for the day. After listening to her talk about our special day, I started sweating bullets working on a story.

“Honey, I need to speak with you. I have to drive my brother to work as his car is still in the shop. He’s doing his boss a huge favor and he can’t be late. I can’t believe I forgot, and I’m so sorry.” It sounded good in my head, and after hearing it come out of my mouth, it still sounded pretty good as he always works over-time. Now comes that moment of silence that seems to last a lifetime. “Ed, I can’t believe your going to miss out on this wonderful day. We have all been planning this for quite awhile, and my sisters are going to be upset you’re not going to be there.” After she said the first three words, I went temporarily deaf. I couldn’t hear anything but the fib screaming in my head. I was laughing and couldn’t stop, and all the while I had the saddest face looking into her pretty eyes. Man, this was easier than I ever imagined. The fib had worked and I was off the hook. I did promise to meet them after the show, and the day was all mine.

I called the bookie and made some football bets, and it was off to the track for me. I grabbed my iPad, as it keeps me from carrying around a million pieces of paper. I had all of my tracks to handicap, and the E-Z Win Forms are starting off well for 2015. She was off with the family and I was off the chain. The smile on my face was so big it looked like a clown, but nothing could bother me as it was my day. I could bet the entire card, and had a perfect seat to watch the Arizona / Carolina game. What could be better?

Aqueduct, Tampa Bay, Gulfstream Park, Laurel, and Santa Anita. – They were on my target list, and I started handicapping the night before. Just me, the E-Z Win Forms, and ice cold beer. The prep work was going to be just as much fun as the day. I had a power play up my sleeve and Winning Ponies had him as the top tier selection. Things were looking so great, and just to think I was going to catch up with my gal for some after drinks and watch the late football game. I felt like it was going to be my day!

I liked plenty of top tier selections for the day, but I was going all-in in the 8th race at Santa Anita. It was the (G-2) San Gabriel, and the top tier selection was #6 – Finnegan’s Wake (9-2). Victor Espinoza was aboard for Peter Miller, and they were both doing well together. They brought to post a son of Powerscourt who won the Arlington Million twice. Well once really, as he was disqualified when rider Jamie Spencer came over down the lane and was taken down at (5-1). But his son was a turf monster, and the E-Z Win Forms were gonna take me to the promise land.

I’m a little new to having the iPad, actually it’s my beautiful gal’s toy. She lets me take it to the track, and I don’t kill off the printer ink. I can even make a bet or two on my wagering account if the lines at the track are too long. She is just too sweet! Once I misplaced the iPad and went crazy looking for it. She looked at me and smiled. “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll find it. She took out her phone and had it located in a matter of seconds.” That was the greatest tool I learned about, and didn’t even think about it ever again. Especially  for my big day at the track. Right about now you could see me in my cushy seat firing away. Yep, that’s me with the ear-to-ear smile thinking I had pulled off the grand caper.

She was sitting with her sister when asked if a show was coming to town. “I’ll leave myself a reminder on my phone, and when I get home I’ll grab the iPad and look for the entire season. I’m sure Ed will want to go, and I really feel bad he couldn’t make it today. I wonder where I left my iPad?” Well, right about now you can see the clouds rolling in and the ominous music beginning to play. I couldn’t imagine nothing was going to mess up my day as Winning Ponies had me rolling. I was just about to pull the trigger for the 8th at Santa Anita when my beautiful gal walked into the track. I would like to say something macho and show you how cool I handled the situation. But as she was dragging me out the door with iPad in hand, I knew it was going to be a long night. As I awoke on the couch the next morning, I rolled off to do some reading on the computer. I didn’t dare make a sound to wake her, until I dialed up the Santa Anita results. – Race #8 at Santa Anita results read: #6 – Finnegan’s Wake = $18.00 to win, the $1 exacta paid $88.40, and the $1 trifecta paid a whopping $1,219.00. – The top tier selection rolled home, and this was going to be the best day I’ve had in awhile. That was until I was escorted out gingerly without making my power house wager. A real man would be mad as hell kicking himself, but not me. I never made a sound, I surely didn’t want to wake her too early.